the Beginning

Let’s try this again, shall we? I have created a blog time and time again and failed miserably time and time again keeping it updated. Perhaps I can try to motivate myself to keep this up. Others need to also remind  me to write on occasion. I said it before though, my ramblings might just be the cure insomniacs need in their life. So if that is you keep on reading!

Where to begin? Who am I? Just a girl. You’re average young 20 something going on 30 (wow…) happily married to a man who makes me smile so much it hurts while living in the burbs. We are expecting our first jerk baby. Don’t take offense to that. Let’s face it, babies can be little angels or little jerks. I won’t be that blind mom who thinks her baby poops rainbows. My baby boy will be a mixture of the proverbial angel and devil on either the shoulder. He will bring out the best in me and the worst in me. He will make me smile, laugh, cry, and beg for mercy.

But I digress. Let me randomly ramble about something else. Well, no, it is still about the baby but I will start from “the beginning”.

I thought I would never be a mom. Not just because I have a medical issue called PCOS, but because gosh darnit I was an independent woman who would NEVER be brought down by man or by child. I will get my degree and I will have a career. Nothing will stop me! Nothing Isay! ahem. So, that didn’t work out quite like I first thought. God is  funny like that. He likes to throw a wrench into your personal plans because lets face it, He has His own. Riding on an elevator up to my car of a parking deck at VCU one day I remember praying out loud to God saying something along the lines of ‘you know, I am happy being alone. I don’t need a man. I am finally happy in my skin. Who I am. Thank you for all you have done for me, I am happy.’

right.

Not too far after this humorous prayer I met Keith. Wrench, say hello to plan. I think God has it set in life that sometimes a girl (or a guy) needs to find peace within themselves and with their relationship with Him before He really makes things move. And boy did he make the earth move. Keith and I became fast friends the moment we met at VCU. Seriously becoming inseparable. Where he went, I went. I even met his family and stayed overnight with them early on. I say friends because we both refused to become anything more — him more than me. we both had some serious baggage that needed to be dealt with, but deal we did – together. Through our patience and care we finally became much more than just friends. I won’t get into all the mushy gushy details but after several years (we met in 2003, because a couple in 2005, had go to through a stupid deployment from the end of 2005 to the beginning of 2007) we finally became Mr and Mrs. Best day of my life. Why? Because nothing else that follows would have ever happened…

For example: this baby boy named Alexander.

Remember when I said I never wanted kids, or rather, I wanted to be independent with no man or child? Yea… it is amazing what love can do to someone. What sharing a life can do to someone. it changes ones whole outlook on life in general. When we first got married I had already changed the outlook to no kids at all, to let’s be married 5 to 7 years first. I wanted to be selfish with Keith. No one else could share him. I think the deployment made me bitter and selfish. However, within two years into the marriage I thought, lets maybe look into having a kid 3 to 5 years. Again, God decided to smile real big, probably snicker to Jesus as He divulged His master plans for us that we ourselves didn’t see or want to see, and in the fall of 2010 I became sick with pneumonia, and because of all the antibiotics pumped through my system baby Alexander came into the world. We were scared mind you. This was not part of OUR plan just yet. But as time went on and my belly got bigger, and the waves of movement could be seen and felt from the outside, and the whole idea became more and more real – our hearts and home opened up to the little boy.

It is June 1st in an hour as I write this… Xander (what we are shortening Alexander to) is due June 24th. Whether or not he will cooperate and come early or late I do not know. From my experience God has His hand in that too and it’s definitely not up to me to decide. (But if he is measuring 10lbs you best believe I will let the doctors do what they need to do to get him out! For those who don’t know, Keith and siblings were all 10lbs or so. Scary.)

Bored yet? Insomniacs, have I found your cure? I know Keith is asleep beside me as I type this. Long day at work for him. The blog I hope will have more than just lots of writing but photos too. About me, about Keith, definitely about Xander… and about life in general. I hope to keep it up. Especially as I enter this new life as a mom… not just a daughter or wife. Wow, a mom. I will be a mom. I pray that if I can be half as good as my own mom, then I know I will be doing alright.

❤ goodnight y’all.

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